5 years later and nothing has changed
It's been five years since I first put my thoughts and poems about gear up on powderandpins.blogspot.co.uk and since that time I have had nothing but pain (physical).
I had planned to get off the gear by now but then I suddenly found out I had cancer and they put me on Fentanyl patches (100 micrograms per hour - the strongest ones - and they still don't touch the sides).
My using on top probably didn't help and I remember after I had been told I had cancer I was banging up to an eighth of gear a day, plus taking 200mg of diazepam, drinking 2 bottles of wine and still having to go to work to pay for it all!
A Functioning Addict they call it - shame that I now have a diazepam habit on top of a raging gear habit as well.
£4k a month I earn and it all goes on smack.
In fact I worked out the other day I have spent just over half a million on gear since I got on it at 16 (proper habit at 18). I could be living in a fucking mansion by now! Probably unhappy as fuck still though.
So I'm in a catch 22. I can't get off the opiates as I need them for my pain and if I did I would be in agony. Fun! I even had the head of a detox centre tell me it would be "cruelty" to detox me as they couldn't give me any pain managment OR anything for the cluck. Joy!
Well that's what I've been up to. Still alive even though 5 people I know have died in the last year.
One with a half ounce egg up his ass that someone actually got out so the dealer wouldn't get busted - nice job if you can get it hey!
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