Dantes Inferno

My latest poem - Dante's Inferno

Dante's inferno was written for me,
The inner circle of hell,
My heaven to be.
A 14th century sage,
He foresaw my life,
The outer rings,
Just a blessing in disguise.
A pain of living so hellish,
A choice I believe.
Between one of slow death,
And madness for me.
Sweating cold on a bed,
Nails pinned through my chest.
Green seeping holes,
Gouged deep in my legs.
A thousand scars for life,
Each one a story to me,
A reminder of pain,
Then bliss beyond belief.
I lie in my grave and stare at the sky,
Grave diggers above,
Piling mud from a high.
A sinking feeling is one,
Only I can receive,
For a life of pain,
No-one else can believe.
As Dante foretold 7 centuries ago,
My life in an inferno waiting to blow.

By Doubledipped - 2013

2013 - Still trying to get clean

5 years later and nothing has changed

It's been five years since I first put my thoughts and poems about gear up on powderandpins.blogspot.co.uk and since that time I have had nothing but pain (physical).

I had planned to get off the gear by now but then I suddenly found out I had cancer and they put me on Fentanyl patches (100 micrograms per hour - the strongest ones - and they still don't touch the sides).

My using on top probably didn't help and I remember after I had been told I had cancer I was banging up to an eighth of gear a day, plus taking 200mg of diazepam, drinking 2 bottles of wine and still having to go to work to pay for it all!

A Functioning Addict they call it - shame that I now have a diazepam habit on top of a raging gear habit as well.

£4k a month I earn and it all goes on smack.

In fact I worked out the other day I have spent just over half a million on gear since I got on it at 16 (proper habit at 18). I could be living in a fucking mansion by now! Probably unhappy as fuck still though.

So I'm in a catch 22. I can't get off the opiates as I need them for my pain and if I did I would be in agony. Fun! I even had the head of a detox centre tell me it would be "cruelty" to detox me as they couldn't give me any pain managment OR anything for the cluck. Joy!

Well that's what I've been up to. Still alive even though 5 people I know have died in the last year.

One with a half ounce egg up his ass that someone actually got out so the dealer wouldn't get busted - nice job if you can get it hey!